Please go away immediately.

Good evening and thank you for deciding to read this post. Chances are if you're visting my page you already know who I am ( I am Jake). If you don't, please leave immediately. Your time would be better spent reading the blog of someone you know or with whom you share common interests.

If you do know me, please also go away immediately. There's nothing here yet. That isn't to say that there won't be, because there will be. Oh yes, my friend . . .whatever your name is . . . there will be. It's very likely that this blog will become your favorite virtual place. I can't believe how good it's going to be.

But for now, you really should either hit the back button on your browser (the page you just navigated from is more interesting than this) or get back to work or help your wife (or husband) (or Mom or Dad) with the laundry. You know there are piles of it. And how long have you been putting off getting that oil changed? If you have over 15 minutes to spare, maybe that's what you ought to be doing.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but there just isn't anything to see here yet. And please, don't think I'm trying to force you away. I'm not. I care about you and would hate to think that you wasted more than the 15 seconds it took you to read through the fifth sentence of this blog (that's the one in which you were instructed to go away).

But please do check back because boy, is there some good stuff coming. Just not now.

So please. Go.

You're still here!

Come back later.

We're closed.

Good night.